A Penny for Your Thoughts by Mindy Starns Clark

Author:Mindy Starns Clark [Clark, Mindy Starns]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Adult, Romance, Mystery
ISBN: 9780736929561
Publisher: Thorndike Press
Published: 2002-01-01T05:00:00+00:00

Twenty-Six

I awoke with a start, and it took me a minute to figure out where I was. The lights were off, but the faint glow of the moon spilled in through the window, and slowly I could make out the four walls of the guest bedroom in the Smythes’ home. The clock said 12:35 A.M. I must have fallen asleep.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I remembered coming up here and sitting on the bed, thinking I would rest my eyes for just a moment. Now I had a stiff neck and two bobby pins stabbing me in the back of the head.

I reached up and massaged my scalp. Letting my hair loose, I shook it out and then caught my breath. My dream. In my dream, I had taken down my hair from a ponytail, shaking it slowly while Bryan watched from the doorway. He had loved my long hair, had loved running his fingers through it. In the dream, he had come to me and taken my hand, pulling me outside into the dark night to look at the stars.

It seemed so real.

I stood and went to the bureau, reaching for a brush, stroking it through my hair vigorously. I hadn’t dreamed about Bryan in a long, long time. Why now did this have to happen, this awakening of my memories, this eclipsing of time?

My heart pounded with the memory of the dream. It had been this way in the beginning, in the weeks after his death when all I’d wanted to do was to sleep, to hide, to disappear. Bryan came to me in my dreams sometimes, and I had spent those early days in a tranquilized stupor, waiting for the sleeping visions where he was still alive and life was back to normal.

In the years since, of course, I had moved past all of that, and in fact most dreams of him these days were almost always odd, disjointed, and blurry. Yet the dream I’d had this time was as clear and memorable as in the early days, as if he had really come to me, as if it really happened. Please, Lord, I prayed, why this? Why now?

I put down the hairbrush, turned on the lamp, and retrieved my Bible from the bedside table. It isn’t fair, my mind cried as I flipped through the pages for some sort of verse, some sort of message to comfort me.

There was solace there, but I was too agitated to find it, and finally I set the book aside and got down on my knees, pleading with God to heal my aching heart. How could a wound tear open after three years, a wound as fresh and painful as it had been that first day? I want my husband back! I want Bryan in my life again, as alive and real and happy as he was in my dream.

My plea felt unheard, though I knew it wasn’t. In the end, I simply recited the Lord’s prayer, letting its familiar rhythm soothe my aching heart.

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